Random

They hugged at the airport. Said goodbye. They were very similar creatures who at that moment chose to lead very different lives. It was a defining moment, that hug. It felt like one, was being split up.

They both lived in the moment. Had friends on every block of the streets they lived on. They both returned home late every night, their mothers would wait up, keep the food warm. They would be drunk, disinterested, detatched...

They both hated 'norms', wanted to live fancy free. If they had Harleys, they would ride them into the sunset and lie in an open field on dry grass and wait till the sun rose from behind them. Instead, they scampered for the last local trains from town, to go to a random bar in the suburb that stayed open late.

They both were intelligent and wonderful writers, even better 'talkers'. They charmed their way in and out of situations. Smooth. Had wonderful, smirky grins. And incredible passion for music. If they weren't 'forced' into conventional lives, they would be genius's. Eccentric and brilliant.
Instead, they were wasted, aimless, and silly happy about it.

The airport, a strange place. So many things change there, in moments. So much happiness and anguish in one space is hard to contain. Suffocating. Yet, they both didn't shed a single tear. Hugged like comrades after a war had ended. Laughed from the pitt of their stomach at the change that they were to embrace.

The ordinary heroes then walked their separate ways.

Living in the unknown

What I like most about my life right now is a perpetual lack of a ‘comfort zone’. And it is a good thing. I find myself taking very few people and things for granted. After living 24 years of dependency, two years of a complete lack of it has shaken up my entire thought process and system. There is no ‘Oh I can depend on my brother to do this for me, Oh dad can tackle this for me, Oh mom can make this for me…’ All I have now are lists of things I need to do for myself (and for others), and thoughts and ways of getting things done by myself.

I would be foolish to completely abandon my support system. I still turn to friends for comfort and need some ‘hand holding’ at many times. But the greatest lesson about living alone has been scary…the choice to spend/ not spend is yours; the decision to break down/ not break down is yours. And the fact that you have the power to make that decision contrary to having it made for you for all these years, that’s a hard reality to accept.

Sometimes you make the right choices…sometimes you don’t. But you will always learn. Through every step, every experience, every fall and twisted ankle, every pressurizing moment and moment of despair.

Yeah, the lack of a ‘comfort zone’ gives me all that.