Random

They hugged at the airport. Said goodbye. They were very similar creatures who at that moment chose to lead very different lives. It was a defining moment, that hug. It felt like one, was being split up.

They both lived in the moment. Had friends on every block of the streets they lived on. They both returned home late every night, their mothers would wait up, keep the food warm. They would be drunk, disinterested, detatched...

They both hated 'norms', wanted to live fancy free. If they had Harleys, they would ride them into the sunset and lie in an open field on dry grass and wait till the sun rose from behind them. Instead, they scampered for the last local trains from town, to go to a random bar in the suburb that stayed open late.

They both were intelligent and wonderful writers, even better 'talkers'. They charmed their way in and out of situations. Smooth. Had wonderful, smirky grins. And incredible passion for music. If they weren't 'forced' into conventional lives, they would be genius's. Eccentric and brilliant.
Instead, they were wasted, aimless, and silly happy about it.

The airport, a strange place. So many things change there, in moments. So much happiness and anguish in one space is hard to contain. Suffocating. Yet, they both didn't shed a single tear. Hugged like comrades after a war had ended. Laughed from the pitt of their stomach at the change that they were to embrace.

The ordinary heroes then walked their separate ways.

Living in the unknown

What I like most about my life right now is a perpetual lack of a ‘comfort zone’. And it is a good thing. I find myself taking very few people and things for granted. After living 24 years of dependency, two years of a complete lack of it has shaken up my entire thought process and system. There is no ‘Oh I can depend on my brother to do this for me, Oh dad can tackle this for me, Oh mom can make this for me…’ All I have now are lists of things I need to do for myself (and for others), and thoughts and ways of getting things done by myself.

I would be foolish to completely abandon my support system. I still turn to friends for comfort and need some ‘hand holding’ at many times. But the greatest lesson about living alone has been scary…the choice to spend/ not spend is yours; the decision to break down/ not break down is yours. And the fact that you have the power to make that decision contrary to having it made for you for all these years, that’s a hard reality to accept.

Sometimes you make the right choices…sometimes you don’t. But you will always learn. Through every step, every experience, every fall and twisted ankle, every pressurizing moment and moment of despair.

Yeah, the lack of a ‘comfort zone’ gives me all that.

I don't miss you anymore

I don’t miss you anymore,
'Coz if missing you,
Is like a bottle of the finest wine
Consider me drunk,
The empty bottle often wonders
Where its spirit died

These barren arms
Will hold no other
They are tired
Carrying the burden
Of nothing
The gift that you left me with

To Spikey & Sheece:)

The breeze brings with him
Gifts, like memories
I open them up sometimes
To find peals of laughter escape my mouth
To feel the warm embrace, your friendship
To hear the music we made
With the voices that we used, to sing
To wipe the tears that fell
To feel the pain thats still left within
To reflect on the conversations we had
Sometimes at the break of dawn
To know that what we had
Will last forever long :)


My partners in crime, at SINE

Man from yonder

He and she sit close to me at work. We went to a Thai restaurant. He sat opposite me. She next to me and we ordered some food.

He had been in the US since he was 15. Now he is married with a beautiful two year old baby girl. We spoke. About life. About worklife.

And we shared Thai food. Three aliens, us.

I asked 'So what part of India are you from'. He said, 'I'm from Pakistan'.

I stopped. Thinking I would react.

He stopped to look. Thinking I would react.

I smiled. He did.

And we continued to eat.

Three friends, us.

Playing It Right

Greatness is witnessed as much as it is felt. Sport allows you to witness greatness. It provides you with an opportunity to experience something exhilarating.

I often wonder why some experiences turn out to be much more exhilarating than others. I have realized with time, that the greater the amount of uncertainty and adversity you face as an athlete, the more exhilarating the experience, if and when the result is in your favor.

I had a similar experience at my companies' sales conference. It was a period of great uncertainty in the life of my company that culminated in a wonderful triumphant event. And it created the desired impact. At least my eyes and ears led me to believe it did. And mind you they are very sound :)

I have read a million books on how companies 'made it'. But to actually witness the process behind it is quite spectacular. To take tiny bits and pieces of a puzzle that fell apart and be told 'Hey some pieces are missing, you still need to figure the puzzle out though'. I think that was the task my senior management faced. And a splendid job they did. Not only did they glue the pieces together, they found the missing ones and are doing what it takes to complete the picture.

A company, in my limited realm and knowledge of corporate America, is almost like a little child that needs to be reared the right way. Sometimes the child grows up to learn things a certain way. But with the world moving so fast the child needs to learn to adapt... maybe do different things, maybe do the same thing in different ways, contrary to 'thinking' it's doing different things but doing them the same way. And Lo! One day the child grows up and realizes 'this just doesn't work anymore, does it?' So starts the process of unlearning, what has been learned and realizing what has worked all these years, may not anymore.

Unlearning requires going back to the core. A lot of soul searching which, companies do just like adults when they hit their midlife or quarter life crisis. And it is a good thing. Reflection is good. Only good can come off a crisis. When the chips are down and you 'make it' despite the adversity, there is no greater satisfaction. Always keep that athlete in you alive, I say:)

It’s funny, I actually feel like my company's life and my life run parallel at this moment. On one level we're trying to constantly progress, think 'out-of the-box', reinvent and innovate ourselves. On the other we're reflecting, going back to the core and unlearning things that we may have carried for years and years thinking – this is the right process to follow for good. Instead of thinking – this is the right process to follow for NOW. And b, c, d and e are also other right processes to follow for NOW, but that may change in the next minute.

Lessons, lessons, lessons – what would we be without them. I always knew I disliked math, but it doesn’t take a genius to calculate the importance of adapting to change. :)

Someday the sun will rise over her skin...

It's 4:30 pm and its pitch dark outside...

Winter makes her presence felt. She is cold and eerie. In the morning I watched the sun battle her for almost three hours. He was fighting a losing battle. She was powerful and in rage. Not only did she envelope him in despair, she celebrated her supremacy with her other friends- torrid wind and lashing rain. They were earthbound and met her on the way.

I think she's pretty cool. People think she can be a mean b**** though...

But there is a lil' bit of that in all of us, I would think.

:)