Another time, another place

Its amazing how much you take things for granted what when they come to you easy and the realisation of this is even more awful. Being away from home hasn't been easy, its made me a hell of a lot tougher though, and thats something no one can take away from me now, for the rest of my life:) Diwali was sourly missed. The smell of the food, the frangrance of incense and the air that it embraced. The dash of haldi and masala and moms love poured into the food that made it taste wonderful. The sweets that filled the house, and monopolized the fridge space. Neighbours and friends, coming home. The lamp hanging outside the window, and the light that came through from that lamp at nights when the rest of the house had switched off. The sound of crackers bursting, the smoke that filled the air and it made it impossible to breath, the gurgle in the laughter, watching mom drape her saree before pooja. Dad cleaning the house with mom, bringing home sweets. All taken for granted...

And when i travel a 1000 miles away from home, Its not diwali i remember, its the little things that make Diwali, the fragrances, the prayers, the laughter and the feeling of goodness. This year was different, had me alone in a room.. i was lost , i was lost..crossed lines i shouldn't have crossed , i was lost, oh yeah....

Couldn't sleep, slept at around 2 am eventually. Woke up, decided today is going to be better. Went upstairs and cooked, and it healed me. Healed my wounded soul. The aromas came close to 'home' and i called dad and mom, to hear their voices..and for a whole of ten mins..it felt almost the same...I realise they mean the world to me.

My landlady came in and told me that she's going to take me to the Indian restaurant for dinner, with their family friends. I was so touched, i hugged her and again and again...maybe i travelled a thousand miles to experience the warmth of a foreigner, maybe i travelled to teach others how much home meant to me, to fill someone else's kitchens with the fragrances that used to fill mine....

Or maybe this quest is just to understand, that the greatest happiness comes when you learn to be happy alone

defining moment
yeah, many of us have these in life...defining moments...i had one of these just yesterday, when i stood in front of my almost all american class to talk about globalization of sport along with two other international students.
and i spoke, like i never did since i got to the United States. I responded to every qs shot at us. very confidently and in well constructed sentences. it was amazing how the words came..like it was destined.
the struggle to come into this country, leave behind everything i ever knew to get here, to face this struggle of feeling alienated and lonely, to miss cricket...to feel hunger, pain and taste the salt of my tears..and exhaustion...the struggle is endless
the only things i carried with me from home, are my dreams to see Indian sport reach invincible heights...the blessings of my parents, and friends...
and then when the words came so easily, it all felt so worth it, in that one moment..when my classmates patted me on the back and said, "good job dee, that was so impressive"...
if only they had an idea of what all went behind that one moment...

I have just been informed that my blog has been created..yay! Man, now if only i knew what to write ... but look its the second line already..