It's OK. Really.

It's ok. Really.
We'll get used to it, like we usually do,
You see I thought this through,
Decided what's right for me,
And chose what's good for you.

Oh this was nothing divine,
No completing each other's sentences,
No "I was just thinking of you",
This was way too simple a connection,
A random conversation or few.

I looked at you like the rainbows,
A giant teddy bear,
Leaves in spring, like new,
Being touched by music or grace,
A peaceful point of view.

We've always known it would end,
We spoke about it too.
But I'm so happy our paths crossed,
Though they stormed around the bend,
For this, the universe chose us two.

And as we go on with our dreary lives,
And get reduced to "someone you knew",
Remember, it was heartfelt and real.

Even now I close my eyes and think,
I'm so glad these feelings, chose you.

New Radical

"It's been a while, where should we begin. Feels like forever. Within my heart are memories, Of perfect love that you gave to me. Oh, I remember."

You know how in the movies, there are these "interlude" scenes, that actually make the story. Scenes where musicians; artists; athletes; lovers "find themselves" and with it the courage to move on and make something brilliant happen. It usually comes in the form of a quiet contemplation, or a moment of absolute despair, which slowly turns into an awakening, a realization and inspiration to continue. The music picks up and suddenly you're enthralled by the progress. Everything is dramatic. You get the goosebumps, chills (you name it) and for those measly two minutes you actually are completely convinced that life is brilliant. You even come home and look up the soundtrack. What was that song again, that song that played in that moment? You want to hear it again, and again. Probably in the hope of feeling a semblance of how you felt. Those measly two minutes.  

Well. This summer, I didn't wait for that moment. I woke up one morning and skipped the thought process entirely. Very mindlessly and recklessly,  I decided to live a little. Completely robotic. No music, no drama, nothing. I waited a long time for it to come. It never did. 

What resulted was a phase of complete abandon that entirely blew my mind. "When was the last time you did something for the first time?" Here's my response. 

Traveled to the west coast of the United States. (View on drive to Big Sur)

Visited Washington DC.

Explored the Newport mansions in Rhode Island (View below, from the balcony of The Breakers mansion).

Experienced a Vermont fall.

 

Swooned all over Justin Vernon as he performed with his new band, Volcano Choir :)

(Somewhat) enthusiastically witnessed the Red Sox play baseball (My mind racing with cricket comparisons! :))

Sang at the top of my lungs with Eddie Vedder and a packed DCU Center, as Pearl Jam ROCKED the stage.

Ventured to New York for my first Broadway play, Kinky Boots. 

Watched Roger Federer play tennis (undoubtedly one of the greatest in the history of the game :))

And watched the man from "Down Under", Colin Hay in concert. Cried a little when he sang "I just don't think I'll ever get over you".

I now think back to last year, this time. A hospital bed, a wheelchair, a walker. That fracture, f-in changed my life. That break, put everything in place. Just the way I always intended it to be. Perhaps writing this post is my "interlude". My greatest moment of reflection. I mean what could be better than realizing that the shittiest experience of your life, in fact, saved your ass ;)  

  

The park bench

I wish you were sitting on that park bench
As I look out my window
Unaware as ever, you'd probably observe the passersby
While trying to make sense of a song and your life.

I wish you all the beauty and joy
I feel, looking at you
Unaware as ever, this is probably what you want to experience
But you, like anyone, can only aspire for such feeling.

The grass is greener, in this home of mine.